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I will touch you with my noodley appendage. Ramen!

This is my favorite holiday of the year. Whatever it may have once been, and then after usurped and twisted into something else or whatever, what it is today is the one holiday where you selfishly go wild and try to grab as much attention as you can! You don’t give away anything besides some small pieces of candy if you are fortunate enough to live in a neighborhood that allows kids to talk to strangers.

My FSM costume is done and ready though on Friday and today at work I wore my backup costume (seen in the picture). Now it seems that this year I have chosen not one, but TWO costumes that are SOOOO geeky, not even many geeks understand them. I will take this opportunity to educate you in these matters so then I can just blame you for not reading about it rather than blame myself for choosing something too obscure, thus completing the theme of this holiday by selfishly placing blame where it belongs!

The costume you see here is the Cardboard Tube Samurai. It was a character on the gaming web comic Penny Arcade and you can view pictures here. The origin of the Cardboard Tube Samurai is this particular strip which later morphed into an entire story arch The moral of the story? Never EVER throw away a perfectly good cardboard tube before it has been properly used as a sword.

Tonight’s costume is the Flying Spaghetti Monster. Flying Spaghetti Monster is my god. learn all about him here. So, now that you have read all that and feel secure in your belief that you will go to a heaven with a stripper factory and a beer volcano, help me reduce global warming by dressing as a pirate and meeting me downtown at 11:30pm in the Blue Lagoon. There you will pray to me, the living avatar of the FSM and help me win the costume contest. Ramen my pirates, Ramen.

-Aaron

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What happens in Vegas… was probably caused by me

So, that’s right. I am going on a vacation. 7 glorious nights in Las Vegas. I am sure only good things will happen to me. List if things to do:

Quark’s Bar & Restaurant (go to What is Star Trek the Experience -> Quark’s): It’s a Star Trek themes bar meant to resemble the promenade on Star Trek DS9.

La Femme: Boobies!

Tournament of Kings: The jousting dinner show.

Cirque Du Soleil: I don’t know which one yet.

Sapphire: More boobies!

Blue Man Group: I really like this show a lot. I hope it is changed a bit from the last time I saw it. Probably has since they came out with a new album.

There are many restaurants I want to visit too, but I’ll spare you the links. Do a bit of low level gambling too. Oh, and got a killer room at the MGM Grand West Wing.

Anyway, I’m really excited about that.

In other news, December 3rd is “Evening Party of the Living Dead”. It will be at my house and there will be music, old black and white horror movies, candles, lots of drinks, food, dancing and everyone should try to dress as something undead. It will be the costumes that Halloween forgot. Please try to RSVP if you plan on coming, even though I know you won’t (case in point, LAN party, 4 RSVPs, 25 people) but you can make it up to me by bringing something to tickle my fancy.

That’s all for now folks!

-Aaron

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My letter to Jack Thompson

I do not know why lately I have my fingers in politics. I guess I am just overly concerned about the direction our country is taking lately. Anyway, a little relief here, I decided to write a letter to Jack Thompson. He’s my new hero.

Dear Jack Thompson,

I am writing this letter in hopes that you will threaten me with legal action. I have seen you threaten many people with legal action in the past 18 years and as your #1 fan I am starting to feel left out. I would like especially if you could reply to my email with some of your more famous threatening phrases like ‘or else’, ‘you’ll regret it’ or ‘you’ve picked the wrong guy to mess with’, but a new and original legal threat would be excellent as well. Even better would be a signed letter mailed to my mailing address because I am pretty sure I would be the envy of all of my friends with a hand signed Jack Thompson legal threat on my wall! If you don’t have time to threaten me at all, I do understand. You probably only like to threaten celebrities and I am just a normal Joe, as much of a fan of you I may be. Please do consider my request just the same.

Regards,

Aaron Rhodes
(address removed by me because stalker lady is still crazy and probably my neighbor)

I know, I’m evil.

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My favorite month.

Well, I never got a letter back from the USA network, but I did get a letter from Bobby Henderson, creator of the Flying Spaghetti Monster. He tells me that Randomhouse Publishing is funding some media coverage and publicity marketing to get the Church of the FSM recognized. This makes me happy.

Halloween! Okay, can anyone guess what I am going to be for Halloween? That’s right, the Flying Spaghetti Monster!!! So if you dress like a pirate we will have some funny pamphlets about the FSM for you to pass out if you want, and you should come visit me and join me in a prayer to Him in the hope that you too will be touched by His Noodly Appendage, and feel gratified knowing that you are helping to reduce global warming. I will be downtown all night spreading the word of His Sauce. RAmen!

I mention this is my favorite month. It is my favorite weather, favorite colors in the trees, favorite holidays. So far it has been great! Ren Faire has treated me well and I saw the three best movies of the year this month: Corpse Bride, Mirrormask and Serenity.

I turned 30 on October 1st. My friends all came over and threw a great party for me. We all went to see Serenity together. Unfortunately I got food poisoning that day and didn’t feel up to partying with everyone. Not a problem though. The weekend at Faire was great and I had a good time. I want to thank my sister Thea and John for the great thermometer, which has already assisted me in cooking a turkey to perfection. Thank you Mom and Doug for the awesome leatherworking tools, sharpening stones and the book on black flowers. Thanks Gramma and Grampa for the wonderful quilt! I know you wanted to give it to me when I got married, but… knowing me that could be a long time from now. I am glad to have it now to keep me warm at night. Thank you Julie for the very cool handmade birthday card, it made me feel very special. Thank you Myla for the bottle of Vodka and thank you Randall for the bottle of whisky. You really know my best side. Finally, thank you very much Mike for all of the wonderful food you cook for me and for the countless outings we go on together to lift our spirits high.

So in November sometime I plan on taking a trip to Vegas. The faint of heart need not apply, but if anyone is interested in going, please let me know.

-Aaron