Ren Faire: Episode V

Into the fray once more! We arrived Saturday morning this time, only to learn that we missed a fantastic party the previous night in which the hosts had set up an area to recreate the Milk Bar from Clockwork Orange. Well, you can’t go to every party on the planet right?

The day went wonderfully with barking aplenty and many shticks to be had. If you know not what a shtick is, when barking you can’t just say, “Fencing here,” you must in fact have something more compelling to draw the attention of the masses. Comedy works, over-dramatic re-enactments are also a useful tool. Such clever quips as, “You can poke him for a change m’lady,” “marriage counseling,” and “Body piercing!”

The after hours would have been a miss were it not for Gryphon. He managed to go back in time and bring us a bag full of old Laser Tag gear. Remember that game that had parents up in a fit cause their kids were shooting each other with harmless infra-red LEDs? Yeah those. So we ran around the faire mimicking actual military squad formations and hand signals covered in gizmos with flashing lights and the frequent “pew-pew” laser sound. Let me say that I was at first under the impression that this ultra-cool activity would be getting me laid. I am sure that the chance against was slim, but somehow was able to find that elusive nook.

At one point everyone wanted to go back to camp and play poker. You know, that kind of poker where everyone bets pieces of grass or “1000 nothings”. I personally cannot palette such a gross eschewing of a point in this type of game and instead decided to look drunk in public. I ended up talking to a man affectionately called “Gunny”. He was a gunnery sergeant in the Marine Corps and has since been working security at the faire, still donning that clever cammy hat. Many had heard that he would be retiring and it is true according to his words but really he was just retiring from security and not the faire altogether. So we still get to enjoy his warm company. We talked shop for a while, reminiscing over old times and “the way it was back then”. I enjoyed the conversation, indeed I am so fond of talking to people of great character and this man is one to speak of. Then some guy started talking crazy talk to me and I left because it felt too much like downtown Santa Cruz on a full moon.

At the camp in rudely interrupted the game of “I bet nothing that I have been dealt better random cards than you have.” A simple question brought that game to a quick close and into the breech was loaded a debate that rages to this day, “Who would kick who’s ass: the Millennium Falcon or the Enterprise A?”

I will end on this to let you ponder the implications. I ready myself for the coming weekend, wish me well and may The Force be with you.


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