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The New Age of Piracy

Now that I am fully qualified to be sailing this little floating world I own, the ground rule I had mentioned earlier are to be put to action immediately. This may not all be in vain as the career choice in coming back into fashion. Please read an article that advocates modern piracy HERE.

The first rule on my boat is, if we go sailing you must be in full pirate regalia. Do not let this discourage you, for dressing like a pirate can be fun, easy and cheap!

A sash of cloth around the waist and a bandanna for the bare essentials, just find some old cloth. Maybe a simple t-shirt with a short split down the chest, or a button down shirt. Cut or shred some old pants at the knees for some slops. Some striped or knee-high socks are a great touch if you have any; A great pair of socks can make any shoes look good or just go barefoot like they used to in the old days. Rather than bringing a plastic sword, I suggest a cut up broom handle. Pirates often fought with a simple belaying pin which was a wooden dowel used to tie up a line.

The second rule aboard my boat is, bring a tribute of rum. It doesn’t really need to be rum but nothing makes me happier to give the time and effort to take my friends on a sailing trip than a nice beverage to relax with later.

The third rule aboard my boat is, you are my crew, I am your skipper. You do what I say when I say it. This is for safety and smooth sailing but I try to be fair and calm. If you have a question or a problem, let me know when we are not in the middle of doing something complicated but by all means, ask away!

The fourth rule aboard my boat is, go take a serious bathroom break before we leave. You can use the head on board for potty but I am trying to avoid using it for poopy.

Those are my current rules, let the sailing begin!

EDIT: I was reminded of rule #5 which I considered an unwritten rule but it is worth mentioning. If you have boobies and are willing to let me touch them, rules 1-4 need not apply.

-Aaron

Comments

  1. Jordan Halls says:

    I got to sail before the rules were applied… I rock the casbah, ARRRR!!

  2. Anonymous says:

    SO I mentioned to Dowdy about you need to be in the print media…I think he is into it

    -Mike

  3. Anonymous says:

    Why can’t we pee overboard??

  4. sad. I don’t think I will get a chance to sail on your boat with you Aaron before I move up to Ontario.

  5. “EDIT: I was reminded of rule #5 which I considered an unwritten rule but it is worth mentioning. If you have boobies and are willing to let me touch them, rules 1-4 need not apply.”

  6. Yes, I know, how crude of me. After the fifth time someone said, “But if some girl wants to come on your boat you aren’t going to make her wear a pirate outfit are you?” I added rule #5. Besides, it’s one of the three ‘B’s of life:

    1) Boobs
    2) Beer
    3) Bacon

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